1 A&Acapture 2014-12-29 2 answer 2014-11-14 3 Robot suit fight 9(finale) 2014-10-08 4 robot arm 2014-09-25 5 Teacher! 2014-08-28 6 Robot Suit Fight 8 2014-08-21 7 Robot suit fight 7 2014-08-06 8 Robot suit fight 6 2014-07-30 9 Robot suit fight 5 2014-07-23 10 robot suit 4 2014-07-14 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 [다음10개]   회 원 김찬호 작성일 2012-10-31 Weather    Feeling  Pleasure 제 목 At school 내 용 I think school is best place, but most of the kids don't think like that. Because you think school is all day long study. I think it is not true. At school, we don't study all day long. Today was just like good school day. Today at school, we had a dodge ball match with 4th class. It was fantastic. Our class was won. It was very easy to win. We already defeat 3rd class. So we just have to defeat 2nd, 5th, and 6th classes. I will tell you about the match. In 4th class their are Oliver, Kim Hyun-su, and Oh Kyung-eon. Three of them are best people. In 1st class(our class) their are Me, Ji-woo, Tae-min, Ji-won. Oh, Hyun-woo is in our team too. Oliver is good at throwing. He killed 5 children. But except me. I'm good at dodging. I didn't dead. I survive at Oliver's ball and Yu-na's ball. Yu-na is good at throwing too. I only killed 3 children, but it was highlight. one children was not important kid. But other two, Hyun-su and Kyung-eon wer very important. There are only two who were survived. I killed Hyun-su to hit her leg, and kill Kyung-eon to hit her stomach. I was very proud of myself. Now it is second thing. Today we can go to computer room. Then we played game. I played Dad n' me. It is kind of little violent game. It punch, hit, kick. I can see little blood. And next game I played was Box Head. It is more violent game. If we kill Zombie with the gun, it left lots of blood. But good thing is that it is made of box, so It didn't too violent. And Sophie send me a mail, too. I think it was great day at school. --THE END-- 답변자 tc0073 답변일 2012-11-01 답변내용 I think school is best place, but most of the kids don't think like that. Because you think school is all day long study. >>I think school is the best place, but most of the kids don't think like that because they think in school all we do is study all day long. (lack of article / sentence construction / intended message) I think it is not true. >>Good sentence! At school, we don't study all day long. >>Good sentence! Today was just like good school day. >>Today was just like a good school day. (lack of article) Today at school, we had a dodge ball match with 4th class. >>Today at school, we had a dodge ball match with the 4th class. (lack of article) It was fantastic. >>Good sentence! Our class was won. >>Our class won. (unnecessary word) It was very easy to win. >>Good sentence! We already defeat 3rd class. So we just have to defeat 2nd, 5th, and 6th classes. >>We already defeated the 3rd class, so we just have to defeat the 2nd, 5th, and 6th classes. (lack of article) I will tell you about the match. >>Good sentence! In 4th class their are Oliver, Kim Hyun-su, and Oh Kyung-eon. >>The 4th class was comprised of Oliver, Kim Hyun-su, and Oh Kyung-eon. (intended message) Three of them are best people. >>The three of them are the best players. (lack of article / choice of word) In 1st class(our class) their are Me, Ji-woo, Tae-min, Ji-won. >>The 1st class was comprised of Ji-woo, Tae-min, Ji-won and I. (lack of article /intended message) Oh, Hyun-woo is in our team too. >>Good sentence! Oliver is good at throwing. >>Good sentence! He killed 5 children. But except me. >>He killed 5 children except me. (sentence construction) I'm good at dodging. >>Good sentence! I didn't dead. >>I didn't die. (choice of word) I survive at Oliver's ball and Yu-na's ball. >>I survived from Oliver's ball and Yu-na's ball. (verb tense / choice of preposition) Yu-na is good at throwing too. >>Good sentence! I only killed 3 children, but it was highlight. >>I only killed 3 children, but it was the highlight. (lack of article) one children was not important kid. But other two, Hyun-su and Kyung-eon wer very important. >>One child was not an important kid, but the other two, Hyun-su and Kyung-eon were very important. (singular form / lack of article / sentence construction / spelling) There are only two who were survived. >>There were only two who survived. (placement of verb in the sentence) I killed Hyun-su to hit her leg, and kill Kyung-eon to hit her stomach. >>I killed Hyun-su by hitting her leg and I killed Kyung-eon by hiting her stomach. (choice of preposition / verb form) I was very proud of myself. >>Good sentence! Now it is second thing. >>Now it is the second thing. (lack of article) Today we can go to computer room. >>Today we went to the computer room. (verb tense) Then we played game. >>Good sentence! I played Dad n' me. >>Good aentence! It is kind of little violent game. >>This game is a little violent. (intended message) It punch, hit, kick. >>I punched, hit and kicked. (verb tense) I can see little blood. >>I saw blood. (verb tense) And next game I played was Box Head. >>The next game I played was Box Head. (choice of word) It is more violent game. >>It is a more violent game. (lack of article) If we kill Zombie with the gun, it left lots of blood. But good thing is that it is made of box, so It didn't too violent. >>If we kill Zombies with a gun, it leaves lots of blood,but the good thing is that it is made of box, so it wasn't too violent. (verb form) And Sophie send me a mail, too. >>Sophie sent me a mail, too. (unnecessary word) I think it was great day at school. >>I think it was a great day at school. (lack of article) --THE END-- Thanks for writing! Have a great weekend!