1 A&Acapture 2014-12-29 2 answer 2014-11-14 3 Robot suit fight 9(finale) 2014-10-08 4 robot arm 2014-09-25 5 Teacher! 2014-08-28 6 Robot Suit Fight 8 2014-08-21 7 Robot suit fight 7 2014-08-06 8 Robot suit fight 6 2014-07-30 9 Robot suit fight 5 2014-07-23 10 robot suit 4 2014-07-14 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 [다음10개]   회 원 김찬호 작성일 2012-09-11 Weather    Feeling  Pleasure 제 목 Swam across Han river 내 용 Han river is the most biggest and largest river korea. This is 17th competition. It started on 1995. Now is 2012. If someone want to swam across Han river, you can. The problem is that someone who want to across, he or she have to pass the test. My friends are all passed. Sin-yang, Hyun-su, Ju-hyuk, Young-suk, and Byung-han. Also Jung-hwan and In-sung. Sin-yang and Hyun-su is in my class. Ju-hyuk is in my school 4th grade. He is in third class. Not first class like me. Young-suk is also in my school. Byung-han and other friends are didn't belong to my school. Okay, now I will tell you about Han river. In 1900s Han river was very clean. But now, it is very dirty. My friend's older brother drank the Han river's water on 2010 by mistake. And had loose bowels. That mean it had lots of loose bowels germs on 2010. On 2012 July, desmid was on Han river. It almost cancel but, I was lucky. On 2011, it was canceled. Because of the low water temperture. Today's water temperture? Umm.. not bad as I thought it would be. I was very fast. I'm in 4-2. But I swam as fast as I could. Then, I was with my 4-1 friends. It was fun. Because that almost of my friends are in the 4-1. I did it. first I started with breaststroke. In the middle, I use freestyle . lastly I use back stroke. It was fun. I want to do it again on 2013. 답변자 tc0073 답변일 2012-09-12 답변내용 Han river is the most biggest and largest river korea. >>The Han river is the biggest and largest river in Korea. (lack of article and preposition) This is 17th competition. >>This is the 17th competition. (lack of article) It started on 1995. >>It started in 1995. (choice of preposition) Now is 2012. >>Now it is 2012. (lack of pronoun) If someone want to swam across Han river, you can. >>If someone wants to swim across Han river, he/she can. (subject-verb agreement) The problem is that someone who want to across, he or she have to pass the test. >>The problem is that if someone wants to swim across, he or she has to pass the test. (subjecy-verb agreement) My friends are all passed. Sin-yang, Hyun-su, Ju-hyuk, Young-suk, and Byung-han. >>All of my friends passed namely Sin-yang, Hyun-su, Ju-hyuk, Young-suk and Byung-han. (word order / sentence construct) Also Jung-hwan and In-sung. >>Jung-hwan and In-sung also passed. (incomplete sentence) Sin-yang and Hyun-su is in my class. >>Sin-yang and Hyun-su belong in my class. (choice of word) Ju-hyuk is in my school 4th grade. >>Ju-hyuk is a 4th grade student in our school. (intended message) He is in third class. Not first class like me. >>He is in the third class not in the first class like me. (sentence construction / lack of article) Young-suk is also in my school. >>Good sentence! Byung-han and other friends are didn't belong to my school. >>Byung-han and other friends don't belong to my school. (choice of word) Okay, now I will tell you about Han river. >>Okay, now I will tell you about the Han river. (lack of article) In 1900s Han river was very clean. But now, it is very dirty. >>In the 1900s the Han river was very clean but now, it is very dirty. (lack of article) My friend's older brother drank the Han river's water on 2010 by mistake. And had loose >>bowels. >>My friend's older brother drank water from the Han river in 2010 by mistake and he had diarrhea. (choice of word) That mean it had lots of loose bowels germs on 2010. >>That means a lot of germs entered his body in 2010. (intended message) On 2012 July, desmid was on Han river. >>In 2012 July, desmid was on the Han river. (lack of article / choice of preposition) It almost cancel but, I was lucky. >>It was almost canceled but I was lucky. (lack of verb) On 2011, it was canceled. Because of the low water temperture. >>In 2011, it was canceled bcause of the low water temperture. (choice of preposition / sentence construction) Today's water temperture? Umm.. not bad as I thought it would be. >>Today's water temperture was not bad as I thought it would be. (sentence construction) I was very fast. >>Good sentence! I'm in 4-2. But I swam as fast as I could. >>What is 4-2? Then, I was with my 4-1 friends. >>What do you mean? It was fun. Because that almost of my friends are in the 4-1. >>What do you mean by 4-1? I did it. >>Good sentence! first I started with breast stroke. >> First I started with breast stroke. (capitalization) In the middle, I use freestyle . >> In the middle, I used freestyle . (verb tense) lastly I use back stroke. >>Lastly I used the back stroke. (capitalization) It was fun. >>Good sentence! I want to do it again on 2013. >> I want to do it again in 2013. (choice of preposition) I hope you enjoyed swimming. Thanks for writing!